each day i get a little closer to figuring myself out. and each day i get a little further from losing who i might have been. i'm stuck in the middle. half in and half out in the depths of my own (figurative) demise. and i know that it feels that way because i'm doing things differently than most people. going with the flow of things, making gut decisions rather than sensible ones.
this world is huge and i am constantly awake at night wondering why we feel we're only meant to explore the things we see on our way to work. i can't do that. or considering a new place to eat at as an adventure. i can't do that either.
so i'm struggling. i want the freedom to be indecisive. to do whatever the hell i want and change my mind at the very last minute if i so choose to. make an impact on this world, even if it is so insanely small that nobody but me will take notice. and i'm not looking for anything, i just enjoy selfishly looking at everything and knowing that everything is a possibility within my grasp. wrong for most people just happens to be my kind of right.
it probably always will.
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