"The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for" 

-Tucker Max, Assholes Finish First

Oh gosh, I feel so uninspired or maybe I am just too happy to find inspiration for things. How backwards is that? I guess, there's this certain void that exists in my life when I'm uninspired. Where I find myself sitting here with the keyboard beneath my eager, yet dry fingertips, aching for a sound for a single thought to help this train reach it's next destination --but-- nothing. Just heaps of backspaces and a lot of, "fuck they're reading" reminders trapped in between caution and expression. I sit here staring at my screen as words appear and disappear as if my heart is speaking a language I can no longer formulate into my own written word. All these frustrations and thoughts just sit at the bottom of my stomach... gnawing at me. So, I'll write on something we are all familiar with. Something we've all experienced and will continue to experience throughout our lives. It is pain. Man, I'm telling you -- pain really rearranges a person. 

It's like it goes inside and says "yeah, I'm home. This is where I'm suppose to be and you're gonna like it." and eventually you are gonna believe it, too. When you get hurt, you start to think that it's okay to hurt like this. It's suppose to burn this way. I'm going to change because of this, so you take it and you take it well. You learn to smile when the corners of your lips are being weighed down by anchors. You learn to laugh to cover up that sorrow that sits in the middle of your throat. You learn to conceal your emotions and you tell yourself that you made this decision to fake it so you stick to it. You believe that whatever the strong can endure, they can get through. Because the strong never gives up and anything worth a damn doesn't come easy. Alright, you say, I'll let this slide. Okay, the second time too. Fine, one last attempt but that's it. Except, it never really ends now does it? So, you try reasoning with yourself. Learned to close your eyes when it hurts and only open when you like what you see. And all the torment of whatever pain you are going through comes rushing in when you start to realize you weren't as strong as you thought. Because any strong person at one point or another realizes that when they have nothing left surrender, nothing left to give... you feel indifferent. And then there's nothing. Nothing more, nothing less. You are empty of happiness of sorrow and of hope. Rearranged in such a way that even your own fingers can't untangle.