constantly evolving

Okay so the goals I set up for this year, were.. totally botched. Completely not my fault, okay maybe it is my fault. But sometimes situations and circumstances permit people not to complete things orrrr that could just be total and utter bullshit. HA! I really had high hopes for this blog, that I would move forward with it but honestly, more pressing matters derailed those plans. I did get a laptop, however I found that I hated my laptop. For some reason, staring at the screen gave me insane headaches. Unless I squinted really hard, like what gives?

Anyway, beside that, I have been well. I gave birth to a crazy baby boy. 2 years ago lol. I didn't blog much about it becos faaark, I was just lazy and more interested in researching stuff about my baby. And mentally preparing for my life to change FOREVER. I will probably make a future post about that. Fast forward to now and he's completely healthy and constantly keeping me on my feet.

Next *MAJOR* event is that I got married! It was more than I could have ever imagined. Literally, perfect. And it was stressful but then it wasn't stressful because we had lots of help from our amazing family. The only thing that stressed me out about my wedding, had nothing to do with my wedding. I'm amazed my family got through it with the outside trials we were facing. 

Which brings me to something else, (not complaining or anything, definitely just a release) 2016 was the most TRYING year of my life. I thought losing my brother (RIL) would be the worst thing my family and I would ever have to go through. And I was so wrong. Don't ever think things can't get any worse because they could go from 0 to shit in a matter of days/weeks/months. We were still grieving the loss of my brother, when we found out devastating news about my sister. My soon-to-be husband lost his job and became full-time SAHD (which I didn't mind). My older brother, the only person I wanted to see at my wedding couldn't make it because of health complications with my bio dad. Which, was another thing we had to add to the list of bills. And above all that, the money it took to keep on fighting for my sister was overwhelming. Especially when you add up her house payment and bills since she could no longer work. It was a lot to handle. And it was hard. Very hard. I can usually handle difficult trials and move on to the next, but this just took a toll on me. I tried to be happy because I was marrying the love of my life, while everything outside of that was falling apart. My family knew I was struggling, especially my mom. The amazing (among everything else she is) thing about my mom is that she doesn't give up easily in the face of seemingly never-ending trials. With her headstrong guidance and determination, she gave me confidence to press forward. But blessings are always flowing even when they appear to be simple on the outside. For instance, my husband helped at home so much so that I didn't have to worry about him or my baby. Or doing laundry or cleaning. That was huge for me. Now, he has a pretty nice job that he enjoys which is such a blessing. Another amazing thing, which I'll forever be thankful for is that my in-laws made it possible for me to enjoy traditional wedding things. It took my mind off of a lot of the everyday stressful things happening. I always had the crazy support of my best-friends! Many times I wanted to cry and ask God why these things were happening, but instead I decided to work harder and be better. Help out as best as I can and keep moving forward. I've prayed more than I usually would and didn't ask God to lighten my family's burdens but to give us strength to get through them. I know he answered them, because I'm comforted in whatever outcome we may face. People around me serve as a reminder that we can conquer all. 1 of my BEST-FRIEND'S is having her first baby. And I'm just so grateful to be here for it all. Meanwhile, my hubby and I are working hard towards our personal goals. Raising our son to be a decent human being and always just striving for a better way to deal with life. Seriously so over 2016! It was definitely a hard year, but it was a year that taught me great life-long lessons. That's the update on my life atm, ever so changing and constantly evolving.