on boyfriend problems

i don't know why some people feel the need to tell me their problems, unless i ask. but i try not to be mean about it. and when i give 'em advice i try to give it straight from the heart. one of the things my mom taught me is that people are fighting a battle everyday and it's not our place to judge or turn them away when they seek help or just an ear. so here i am minding my own business...

when Lisa ( i changed her name) comes along and starts talking to me out of the blue. when i mean out of the blue, i mean she never, not even once says anything to me. anyway, she goes on about the mundane things that happen in her life and it's as if a switch turned on inside her and she started crying. hysterically. i mean, i even got scared by how dramatic she got. she told me her boyfriend cheated on her a while back. but she's gotten over it now and still finds reasons in him to smile and that they are so in love blah blah blah.

this is what i told her -


i would never take someone back for cheating on me, i just wouldn’t be able to look at them the same way. they’d be a brand new person to me. it would be too hard for me to really enjoy them after that, things just aren’t the same when there’s no trust. and i don’t think that’s real love. i don’t care what anyone says, i don’t think you can make a mistake like that when you’re really in love. you may flirt, but cheating…you know when to stop, it shouldn’t go that far. still it’s great that you’re still smiling.  just be careful though, i feel like once a cheater, always a cheater. i do believe people can change, but only if they want to. to be honest, i don't think you'd be crying to me, a complete stranger, if you didn't think so yourself. i guess you have to feel out the situation for yourself. there are plenty of other fish in the sea though…good fish. i'm not gonna lie, good guys are so rare these days. you have to be open to the idea that you deserve better first. treat yourself kindly because there is no one more deserving of your love than yourself.

she stopped crying by then. stood up and straightened out her clothes with her hands. gave a coupla sniffs, wiped her face and then politely said "thank you" with a smile.