alone, again

i'm slowly starting to warm up to being home alone. i think a lot of it has to do with blogging. the only sound i hear are my fingers hitting each key as i type... and i love it. oh, today was so pretty. nice surprise since it's been raining non stop last coupla days. perfect weather for a funeral though. Lauren's service was so sweet. i fondly remember getting up to stand in line as everybody got their chance to say their goodbyes. i only snapped one photo, seeing as i couldn't take anymore out of respect to her and my family... it's a pretty plain picture too. just a display of all her pictures hung off these branch-like centerpieces. and a few of her favorite things, like her teddy, micky mouse hat from dw, and albums scattered here and there full of her 
baby pictures. my favorite was a picture of her and her siblings laughing and holding hands in a thick victorian maroon frame filled with flowers they had picked out that day.

before i knew it i was getting closer to her casket. i could already see her tiny figure inside, and her pale blue skin color... i got a bit anxious. when i was little, it always scared me when i would go to an old persons funeral and see their lifeless body. when i finally got up to see her, i instantly wanted to touch her hand and kiss her face. ren had that affect on everybody. you couldn't help but fall in love with her. i lightly ran my fingers across her cheek down to her chin. she was still soft, not like how she was in the hospital, but soft enough. she looked so cute in her little white dress wearing this adorable pearl necklace. a gift her mom gave her a few days before her passing. she also had the bracelets her little sister Stenny made for her. i couldn't help but think of how lucky she is. i know she's at peace. i know she's happy. and i know our heavenly father welcomed her into heaven with open loving arms. today was the celebration of a beautiful soul and May 20, 2011 will forever be engraved in my heart. ♥